I've got a problem...

“Psst…a half of the white stuff and a quarter of the green and black”. Yep amigos I’m in denial but I have to admit it, I’ve got an addiction. Read on and tell me if I need to seek help?

The other week I was out of milk so popped down the shops, a quick and simple trip for two pints of semi-skimmed, whilst the kettle boiled. Upon turning the corner into the high street I can only say that I was bodily taken over by my little problem. There in front of me was the market and calling out to me was a Greek food stall. I was hopelessly distracted by a huge bowl of Greek sun-dried tomatoes and the rather craftily placed free sample sign. Venturing closer I also saw row upon row of olives and the final straw…a tub filled with blocks of freshly cut Feta.
The Greek man knew I had a problem…”Yes Sir, try the olives, beautiful like the Greek woman”. At first I was strict and just asked for some sun-dried tomatoes (just a few, for research purposes only). The Greek man kept on “Some Feta Sir, fresh and pure and white like a Santorini summer”. Ok I thought, I’d just have half a block of Feta. No, the Greek man looked offended and I had to agree with him in that cutting it was a bit like what we did with the "Elgin" marbles! By this time I was on a roll, the Greek had me hooked and knew it. “Some Olives Sir” Yes hombre, some of these a few of those…mmm! I was high on Feta and Olive buying! Finally I stopped; I didn’t want to OD so I asked the man. How much? "22 Pounds, Sir!", Madre mia! I had to quickly revisit the cash machine but well worth it. The most expensive two pints of milk shopping trip ever. I think I’ve got a Feta and Olive problem folks!

Bloggers Guide To Flamenco! -Part 1

Olé amigos and bienvenido to my
Bl(a/o)ggers Guide To Flamenco!
“Madre mia, qué idiota!” I hear you cry, “it’s all high waisted trousers, shouting, mad gypsy haircuts, open shirts and Camaron medallions”. Well some of it is but what’s so wrong about a lump of precious metal swinging in your chest hair (especially when adorned with the face of José Monje Cruz)? And that’s just for the men. You senoritas get really spoilt! Carmen Amaya, Sara Bares, polka dots, ruffles, mantillas, abanicos...I could go on. Qué Guapa!
Lo siento, I’m getting distracted.

INTRODUCTION
Where did my love of Flamenco come from apart from the guapa gitanas? Well, I’ve got a friend and she used to live with a Spanish teacher from Malaga. I used to go round to see my friend and I’m not joking every time would turn into a re-enactment of the Seville Feria. Yep, the men would eat and get merry on Tinto Verrano and the hostess would baile, baile, baile around the kitchen. Half way through the night other random Spanish people would turn up, some with guitars, and before you knew it the house was full. I didn’t know what sleep deprivation and paella induced heartburn was really like until those days. So I guess from that day on I had an interest, much like an extreme sport for those who like their sleep!

So, my guide is going to cover the all you need to know about flamenco music. That’s the traditional right up to the Nuevo Flamenco of today! “Señor Tronosco is really spoiling us”. Yep that’s right, I might even throw in some stuff about the dancing. Your very own cut-out-and-keep guide, so next time you find yourself in the caves of Sacromonte you’ll really be able to mix it!

Tune in later this week when I start with Flamenco palos, or in English, Flamenco music styles.

CONTENTS
Bloggers Guide To Flamenco! -Part 2 -Flamenco Palos

Proof that men never grow up!

Proof today that men never grow up.

I was sitting down this afternoon with my amigo, having a few drinks and watching TV. I flicked over to the music channel and we sat and watched a few GirlsAloud videos. There we both sat making grunts of encouragement to the dancing girls. I looked over at my amigo and he was alternately looking over at me with a knowing grin and then pointing and gazing at the TV with a coy look-of-love on his face. Hombre! Who was my amigo? Pequeño de la Hermana. He’s two years old, I’m his Uncle and he’s just like me!

BTW Mum, I was drinking tea (of course!) and he was having some fruit juice!

I once ruptured myself...

It’s the bank holiday I’m doing the rounds. Unfortunately I’ve got no holiday plans this weekend although we do have the annual multi-cultural festival tomorrow so might check that out. Doing the rounds? Well checking on my local amigos and familia. Today I’ve seen my Grandmother for a few hours. It’s great seeing her although a quick visit usually turns into an afternoon. Copious amounts of lunchtime cheese sandwiches followed by a night of disturbing dreams!
My grand mother can weave a good story. It has often been said that anyone visiting her requires a bladder of near reservoir volume. I once almost ruptured myself, trying to get a word in edge ways to excuse myself. I like to think that my Gran’s story telling is a bit like neat vodka drank through a curly straw. You concentrate and slowly it goes round and round in circles. You wonder if it will ever come to an end then as fast as it’s started it’s over and you come away feeling warm, slightly giddy and in need of the bathroom!
Today’s gas started with the troubles in the world, skillfully woven into a brief interlude about the neighbours. Then dropped back into a short sub-plot about her childhood intermingled with a thrilling argument against facism and the future of a royalist state (from the perspective of the new lady living in the bungalow at No. 26).
All of this was told over the majesty of a pot of Earl Grey with a dry sherry chaser, unfortunately no cake today folks!

My Gran always likes to keep abreast of modern technology whilst in her 70(or so) years of age. Today she asked me to explain what an mp3 was? Well, I like to think I’m good at explaining things so this is how the conversation went.
Well Gran it’s a digitally compressed sound file.
No entiendo!
Ok, then. You know computers and they store information electronically, like pictures and text for example. Like in the bank, when they look up your information.
Si!
Well an mp3 is like this but it’s music.
Ok, but where is the music kept in one of those i-pod thingys?
On a disc, like a record.
Ah a record but I heard that you could get lots of songs on an I-pod thing?
Yep you can, the songs are smaller.
Hmm, but what if you want to play older songs.
Em, no Gran the songs nowadays are the same size they just make them smaller. They shrink them so they take up less room.
Ah ok? Like microscopic records?
Em kind of!
How do you put the needle on?
No! Not like a vinyl record they are different.
What like CD’s?
At this point I started to give up.
Yep like them.
Where do you buy them then?
The conversation went on for another few minutes by which time I managed to end it with distraction by mentioning that the teapot was cold. Phew! Another pot? Nnngh! I need a wee!

Oops, I did it again.

Qué tal amigos? Oops, I did it again last night! I've actually done it three times in the past 2 years, in different places. The first time was painful because l injured myself. The second time almost got me arrested. Last night I was left out half naked. "What!", you ask?
I locked myself out of the house, I keep doing it!
The first time l went to work and locked the keys inside. Luckily a high downstairs window was open but first I had to break through an out-house door. A kind neighbour lent me the tools! I injured myself straddling the small window which had a prong-lock, eye-watering stuff. Also minor damage to the sofa, although it formed a much needed crash-mat for my fall from the high window.
The second time, l was out in the front garden.The wind caught the front door and it slammed shut. Luckily this time the back door was open. Whilst attempting to climb the back fence,a concerned neighbour confronted me. He thought I was a burglar and threatened me with calling the police! I had to answer some of his probing questions, I also explained that burglars don't generally rob houses wearing just socks, no shirt and washing up gloves? This seemed to swing his decision and he lent me a ladder to climb the fence, jolly nice hombre!
The latest was last night. I'd just showered and was musing around the house in a pair of "never to be seen anytime" boxer shorts. I went to put the rubbish out, I figured no need to put more clothes on,it would only take a couple of seconds! Guess what, amigos? Yep, wind caught the front door and it slammed shut! I'm not joking here! I must have spent a good minute in shock(covering my exposed nipples with my crossed hands), standing half naked on the busy street. I had no spare key, no phone, what to do? When I calmed down, I remembered the back door was unlocked. It was a walk down the street, then round the back and another fence to climb. I decided to walk casually, running would only attract attention. I got half way down the road and sod's law a fully laden bus was stopped at the junction. I didn't look but I swear the bus driver or a passenger sarcastically wolf whistled! Eventually I got back in the house after climbing a trelis.
I really think I have learnt an important lesson this time, buy some sexier boxer shorts.Seriously though, I need to be more careful, anyone else been in a similar tricky situation?

I've been thinking about the future.

Today I’ve been thinking about the future. Well to be exact the 1950's and 1960's vision of the future. I remember as a kid (relatively recently!) looking at some of my papá’s schoolbooks. The basic content of which was:

• We would travel around in jet-cars.
• Food would be a small pill for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
• An in-house Robot would replace a women’s work.
• Nuclear energy would power everything.
• Work would become obsolete, allowing father to take Johnny Jr. fishing everyday of the week.
• There would be a colony on Mars, mining stuff.
• High-rise buildings would solve overcrowding.
• and many, many more!

Wow, weren't they wrong. Socially, economically, environ...monu...mentally-wrong!
These mistakes I can live with but one thing troubles me. Why did the picture of the futuristic house with in-house Robot show it pushing a 1950's vacuum cleaner and wearing a piney like my Great-great grandmother?

Meme Of 3

Gracias Heather, I’m not usually into these too but I do need to expose myself a bit more!

People I'm tagging with this.
Lindol Crike Condenses –his summaries of the dailys are mind blowing.
Windywillow –read this blog today, beautiful pictures of the garden and she likes tomatoes!
Cowboydog –I just can’t get enough of these. Funny, disturbing, thought-provoking, brilliant.

Don’t forget to track-back to Heather's Boutique and her Meme of 3 including;
A Dress A Day
Slaminsky

So here goes, it’s all about meme-me, Señor Tronosco.

Things that scare me.
Wasps, I’ve never been stung and actually once ran a good half mile to escape one. Yep, I was screaming and waving my arms about!
Big dogs with their own teeth. I try and pretend they are cute and lovable but I know the dog can sense I’m a scaredy cat.

People who make me laugh.
Lot’s, overheard conversations of strangers, my friends, colleagues. Anyone who can partcipate in the general day to day banter. Favourite famous ones –Ricky Gervais, Larry David, oh and Graham Chapman.

Things I hate the most.
Slugs, I once stepped on one with bare feet. I was out on a date and casually had to peel it off whilst trying to look sophisticated.
The 9to5 unless it challenging.
People who feel their social status or job position are more important than being human. In less technical terms, em…“keep it real” folks!

Things I don't understand.
Cricket. Drunken violence. Racism. How they get ships in small bottles? How women can determine and name colour shades. Mans’ stuff –How flash memory and digital broadcast transmission works?

Things I'm doing right now.
Thinking about what to have for tea.

Things I want to do before I die.
Work abroad, jump out of a plane or even base-jumping(obviously with a parachute), stand on a stage and muse, find a muse. Give up smoking not just cut down! Be able to lift more than two shopping bags without groaning like a weight-lifter.
Oh what the heck, record a prog rock album become a rock super star, buy a big mansion with tomato plantation, have some pool parties, drink a bit, go to re-hab, release disastrous self-indulgent follow up album and fade back into obscurity.

Things I can do.
Just about look after myself, roll my tongue. Play the guitar but very much like Inspector Clouseau could play the violin. Take a good photograph. Sew, not like dresses or anything but I once made a tent? Shoot clay pigeons.

Ways to describe my personality.
Disorganised, forgetful, thoughtful, fun loving, reckless but charming and passionate, Señoritas!

Things I can't do.
Swim any better than a stone. Hum the original Grange Hill theme tune –try it, it’s impossible! Grow or even keep alive house plants.

Things you should listen to.
The birds, music, your heart and your stomach!

Things you should never listen to.
Easy listening CD’s reduced to £1.99. People who cannot listen to you.

Things I'd like to learn.
Spanish (properly), rock climbing, horseriding.

Favourite foods.
Easy….Tomatoes, Feta, Jamon Serrano, fresh bread, egg and ham with chips, full english with plum tomatoes. A full roast with gravy.

Beverages I drink regularly.
Water, tea at home, coffee at work –bad vending machine stuff. Smoothie for breakfast, a few bottles of Alhambra cerveza now and then, bit of wine (red), occasional Tequilla when I’ve got nothing planned for the next two days.

Shows I watched as a kid.
Postman Pat, Bag Puss, Trap door –fantastic theme tune, The A-Team, He-Man and Transformers (Robot’s in Disguise!).

I've refused to return after tea.

I'm not a huge fan of cricket. Personally I find the whole scoring system a bit of a mystery, which has held me back from really watching it seriously. Eh! Amigos? Does that make me less of a Señor?Anyways, I was catching up with the news and saw this headline "Pakistan refuse to return after tea". If you haven't seen it then link here. After much laughter and listening to the facts I was reminded of a similar incident in my life.
I used to play futbol with mi amigos in the local park. At the time the legendary Shoot5 football's were all the craze. For those not in the know, these were basically a 99p excuse for a football. A thin plastic coating painted with black and white hexagons, inflated to a near fatal psi and light as a feather. You talk about Bend it like Beckham! I once saw a goalie take a goal kick and score an own goal with a Shoot5. It was like a boomerang. Being short on pocket money, all those proud Shoot5 owners were very possesive of their footballs. It was quite common for them to explode if kicked against anything too hard. So it was an unwritten rule that Shoot5's should be treated with a certain ammount of respect. I remember on this particular day taking my Shoot5 to the park and one of the older boys team was quite frankly breaking this rule. Kicking it against the stone chip surfaced garages! NO, he wanted to pop it! This went on for a bit I repeatedly told him to stop it but he wouldn't listen.So I picked up my ball, grabbed my goal-post jumper (hand-knitted by mum) and stormed off home in a huff for tea! An hour or so later all the local kids (who had also had their tea) came round my house to see if I was coming out again with my Shoot5 for the second half of the game. I refused to return after tea unless the older boys stopped trying to pop my Shoot5, this caused an up-roar, with them threatening pop-age and saying bad things about my jumper. So me and mi Amigos stayed round my house playing Lego instead.

Some striking similarities with this and the current Cricket-Crisis, the only thing was we were 10 year old kids not professional sportsmen!

Shoot 5 Picture courtesy of http://www.bakerross.co.uk/product.asp?pf_id=TFB1 . I can't believe they still make them! In order to prevent any legal action, they are in fact a wonderous football. As mentioned I have many times purchased them and their airborne handling are the stuff of legend. What other ball could spiral through the whole defence and lob the keeper in one shot (via a cross-wind)!

Dare I say it? Much like a beautiful Senorita!

Ok it’s about time I enlightened people on my search for the perfect Tomato! “Oh no he’s really lost it now,” I hear you say. Wait a minute it’s like this, some people spot trains, collect stamps, knit tea cosies. I like to think my search for the perfect tomato is relatively normal, a bit like wine tasting minus the spitting and hangover. It all started like this. I never used to like tomatoes (c. Birth-2003); the average ones you buy in the supermarkets were foul. They have tough orange coloured shiny skin, rubber-like flesh, are practically hollow with sticky green pips. Basically this description should be for something out of a horror movie. Then way back in 2003 I spent a bit of time touring the Mediterranean and rediscovered the tomato. They were fantastico, nothing like the ones you normally find down your local high street. From that day on I decided it was my duty to the reputation of tomatoes to seek out the finest varieties and quality available in the UK.

Here is my quick, totally opinionated (loosely based on fact), 3-point beginners guide:
1. Flavour to a tomato is like character. If your tomato has been spoilt, inoculated and has a poly house, then it’s likely to taste bland. A tomato that’s had a bit of a hard life is likely to have tried harder and therefore tastes better. Remember a tomato is a fruit, the main point of this is that the tastier the tomato the more likely it is to survive i.e. reproduce.
2. Tomatoes should be firm, no saggy skin, and free from blemishes. Dare I say it? What the heck Señor, much like a beautiful Señorita!
3. Never store Tomatoes in the fridge. I keep mine in a fruit bowl so that they continue to ripen and remain in good health. Remember a tomato has grown up with fresh air and sunshine, not dark sub-zero temperatures.

If you’ve got any recommendations for your favourite variety, interesting tomato facts, recipes, then let me know.
Coming soon –My favourite tomato of 2006.

Hip & Joint-safe dance moves for the older generation.

I hate to admit this but Friday night, leaving party and i'm in bed by midnight and sober! I left early like Grandad, so as not to embarrass the youngsters. I'm normally the last one standing but lately Señor is just not feeling it. Is this what happens when you reach 30(or so) years of age? I now have to constantly fight against a potential waistline apocalypse, I can determine the changing seasons by my knees, mildly squint when reading small print and notice other subtle old man symptoms. Don't misunderstand, I’m not there yet but all these subtle changes are a reminder that i'm not immortal! I’m hoping that I’m just going through a ‘lightweight’ partying phase and the one and only Señor Tronosco will be re-mOjO-nised soon! Any tips for growing old gracefully, hip&joint-safe dance moves for the older generation or secrets to immortality?

What's new?

Tuesday 19 December 2006

Xoxo's! Madre mia, where has the time gone? It's now well into the jolly season. I hope we all remembered Our Lady of Guadalupe's feast day, which is when I start to feel really festive.

What's new? Well i'm sorry to say that my Bloggers Guide to Flamenco has been slow to start this year but I promise an update soon.
My Tomato competition? Yep, it's still there and i'm musing over the winner as I write (this is both the tomato and the picture competition winner). I do hope you remember? It's not too late to submit a winning Tomato Head picture...Madre Mia!

All that is left is for me to direct you to this post...

Hasta luego, niñas!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday 30 October 2006
Amigos, I've been neglecting my Blog. What can I say? I've been ill and milking it for all it's worth!

Latest news is that my gall bladder is that of a 60 year old ex-darts player. Ho hum, nothing that can't be put right which is good news. I'm having a camera forced down my throat tomorrow to look inside my innards, which will be fitting for Haloween. Hopefully my stomach is not that of a chain smoking truck driver.

Don't miss the Youtube James Brown clip. His dancing is amazing and that floor must have left the floor polisher very happy. It was also pointed out to me the interesting clapping from the girl on the left behind James. Mira, mira!

Yep Amigos the long awaited Bloggers Guide To FlamencoPart 3. Make sure you listen to the audio. While you are there also check out my Lee Van Cleef and Spaghetti Western Tributes. They are so bad they're good (and Ugly)!

Hasta luego, niñas!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Saturday 16 September 2006
I am currently building up my strength after my unexpected week of intravenous therapy and minor surgery. Thank you very much for all those who sent me best wishes, cards, emails and for those who visited me for some amusement (yep i've kept the surgical stockings)! In the meantime please check out the Link section for My Halfbaked Invention and other amusing inventions. Added more Spanish Prog. Check out the Music Link for Bloque....it's Black Sabbath in Spanish! I'll publish my post-mortem later this coming week!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thursday 31 August 2006
Woo..hoo! I've now updated my competition...there is a prize! Thanks for the submissions so far...(um, only dos). Yep amigos, it's the Señor Tronosco give away of the century! Submit your tomato pictures to me and the best (judged by me) receives...

Se de un Lugar -the Triana Compilation -Double CD, still in it's cellophane! You Lucky People!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Saturday 26 August 2006
Updated My Music links. Crazy ampetamine driven spanish prog rock from Mezquita. Stick with it just to hear the fantastic vocals, lovely!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Saturday 19 August 2006
As promised I have added a picture link for previous post Fruitstock 2006 -Innocent Stuff. Also, check out my really worthwhile competition, located in the side bar!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

One Lump Or Two?

Buenas! I was out and about in Londres ("The Big Smoke") today, working, winking at Señoritas, walking into lamposts etc. Whilst travelling around I like to sample a bit of life, so it's usual for me to skive off for a bit and check out on foot what's going on. Normally I end up suited and booted with a group of japanese tourists watching the changing of the guard. I once found myself pulling faces trying to make the guard laugh, taking tourist photos of the horses and Tower Bridge and even found myself on one of those red tourist buses! I love the city.
Anyways, whilst man-about-town today i must have consumed a near fatal ammount of take out coffee. This got me thinking. Britain a nation of Tea drinkers, a pride and great history in brewing a cuppa, tea cosy knitting, warming the pot, one lump or two! Why, oh why can you not get a cup of perfectly brewed take out tea (for all the tea in China)? Ok you can find it but it's normally some lame atempt at a tea bag on a string in magma temperature water with a splash of milk. This is what the Brit's are missing out on, a chain of tea shops. Imagine it, "Can I have a big mug-gold top milk-builders strength-two lump-breakfast tea-to go"! I want to see this now. I've just got to think of some names for the tea shop chain?

Incident involving vending machine on platform one.

I was clearing out my work email box today and found this random exchange. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. It highlights so many things that are wrong in life. Read on;
-----Original Message-----
From: Reception
Sent: 10 August 2006 15:45
To: ALL Staff
Subject: BASINGSTOKE STATION - FOR INFORMATION
It has just been heard on the radio that Basingstoke station and the surrounding area has been closed due to an incident!!

Reception

-----Original Message-----
From: Señor Tronosco
Sent: 10 August 2006 16:00
To: Amigos
Subject: FW: BASINGSTOKE STATION - FOR INFORMATION
It's probably a violent incident involving that crappy vending machine on platform one. It once failed to give me a packet of Minstrels, after putting in the correct money. It got caught, I tried to shake the machine but it's bolted to the wall so I called the complaints number on the machine but no one answered...the busturds! Either that or it's the price of a scone in the shop...£1.09!

Señor Tronosco

------Original Message-----
From: Reception
Sent: 10 August 2006 16:07
To: ALL Staff
Subject: FW: BASINGSTOKE STATION - FOR INFORMATION
We have just phoned the central train information number and although there was an incident earlier this afternoon it is now cleared and the train station is now open.

Reception

-----Original Message-----
From: Amigos
Sent: 10 August 2006 16:24
To: Señor Tronosco
Subject: FW: BASINGTOKE STATION
Tronosco – I think your minstrels have come unstuck...you can pick them up on your way home...

-----Original Message-----
From: Señor Tronosco
Sent: 10 August 2006 16:35
To: Amigos
Subject: FW: BASINGSTOKE STATION - FOR INFORMATION
Cool!?
While I'm on the subject though, I don't have much luck with that vending machine.
I once put in £1.50 for a bumper bag of Revels and that also got stuck. The bag was teetering on the edge but just got caught! The only thing was that really angered me is that there was an old lady on the platform too. She was how do you say...em,..with a rusty bike, mad hair, loads of carrier bags and an old dog?
I accepted that the Revels had gone but it wasn't until I glanced over at the old lady 10minutes later that I noticed...she had two bumper bags of Revels! She had been stalking my loss of Revels and bagged a two for one vending machine bonus, whilst I wasn’t looking! I would have gone over and got them back but my train pulled in, plus she had a mad twitch, which worried me a bit.
Ho hum!

Señor Tronosco
End
All I can say is that it was a pretty dull day at work on the 10th.But, I do think Vending Machines bring out the worst in people! BTW I never did find out the real reason for the incident. Anyone out there have any Vending Machine horror stories they want to share?

Random song in my head of the day

Today I found my head to be filled with song. In fact it was like being in a 9 to 5 musical.
It all started from the moment I got on the train to work and the guard shouted....."All aboard" (the Night Train-James Brown). From then on my internal-juke-box was reacting to every conversation. I lost the operatic plot around lunchtime when I found myself humming Belinda Carlisle. I managed to break out of a "Circles in the sand" loop by a well timed conversation about "Strangers"(in the night -Frank Sinatra).
The afternoon(Act II) became a subtle mix of rock classics with some genious crossfading into reggae, ska and a hint of folk. I even dared to shoehorn in an Eddy Grant number following a conversation with an electrician. I got home feeling I had given a top class musical performance and am currently giving myself a standing ovation!

Fulking Hill!

He he! Ha ha, i'm sorry but I can't resist a bit of schoolboy humour. I was out and about today and passed near "Feltham". Ok that's not funny but the place name is mildly amusing, Feltham=Felt them? This was always a source of amusement as I once worked there and was forever cracking that joke. There are some classic place names though that always bring amusement. I've passed by "Dummer" on a few occasions, "Fulking Hill" was another and you can't say "Bagshot" to my amigos without some kind of snigger! I'm also assured that there is a "Bitchfield" and "Cockermouth" somewhere out there. There must be more equally hilarious names in existance?

What no Blog or water?

Well folks it's been a busy week in the off-line world of Señor Tronosco. Although busy I have found time to ponder a few more of life's questions, so stay tuned and I'll be rolling them out over the next few days!
Following my last post about "Sparkling" water, I may have to re-evaluate my opinion on it's usefulness following an event this week. I awoke on Wednesday in a neanderthal state, stumbled to the bathroom half asleep and switched on the shower. Nothing, nada! Ok the shower light was on, the main power switch on, the electrics worked. I then spent the next 5minutes checking the fuse box, all was ok. In my sleepy-idiot state I couldn't work it out. The shower was ok but why no water? I then had a moment of clarity following a yawn and a stretch, let's try the tap. Bugger it! No water!
I then spent the next 30seconds in a minor panic trying to answer the following questions;

Why no water?
Was it just water to this house?
Had a pipe burst?
Was somewhere in the house flooded?
Had WWIII started?
Was this the drought that the water company had forecast?
How was I going to get to work, unshowered, with a major case of bed hair?
How was I going to explain this to my boss, as I was now late?
Would I die of thirst?
Why don't I ever keep a bottle of water in the house?
Could I possibly shower using water from the garden storage tank?

It is situations like these that you really appreciate how spoilt we have become. I don't have any provisions in the house. Seriously if a disaster struck on any scale i'd die of thirst or hunger and would probably have to resort to looting the local supermarket! I don't know the first thing about "living in the wild". I'd end up drinking some polluted source of water, posionous berries or maiming myself on my homemade animal snare. I don't have a clue, which worries me.
Luckily for me the loss of water was due to a burst pipe in the local area and was back on after a few hours. In which time I had managed to make a cup of tea from some melted ice cubes I found in the fridge.

Incidentally if I had had some sparkling water I would have happily enjoyed it's refreshing properties. It would have been great to bathe in as well, like a jacuzzi. Now there's an idea?

Sparkling Water

Today I've been thinking about "Sparkling" water. You know, fizzy water, carbonated water, agua con gas! How did that come about? Now it's bearable as a mixer, l can understand that, but people drink it on its own. No it's wrong! l don't know about you but it tastes like water with a soluble aspirin in it. It has to be one of the most pointless inventions ever! I've heard some say, "it's very refreshing". What, more so than a glass of natural water? I really don't get it. You even have to pay more for it! I thought of a new invention, to compete with Sparkling water its called "Coloured" water. Don't you think a glass can look a bit boring, jazz it up with some different shades to match your mood, tablecloth, clothes etc. Now that's much less pointless than the fizzy stuff!

Fruitstock 2006 -Innocent stuff!

I love "Innocent" drinks! I'm normally one who skips breakfast, so I get one of the innocent drinks to keep me going in the morning. Before that I'd have nothing, then pig out on bacon rolls and snacks untill lunchtime, which was no good for me or the pigs!
I'm fairly cynical but.....
Not only are they good wholesome drinks but it seems to be a company that likes to put something back, not just to the environment but also to charity, as well as being entertaining in the process. All you in London this weekend, check out "Fruitstock"! Man, I can't remember last year, all that fruit....I was high on natural minerals and vitamins!?

What's "Fruitstock"?

Fruitstock is a free festival which we at innocent put on to say thank you to all of you for drinking our drinks. There's lots of live music, posh food and drink stalls, a farmers' market, a kids' area and all sorts of other things to see and do. It's completely free, it's happening in Regent's Park, London, on the 5th and 6th of August, and we hope to raise loads of money for our chosen charity, WellChild. Keep the weekend free, and your fingers crossed for good weather – we hope to see you there. http://www.fruitstock.com

How nice! Check out the website, for some cool videos.

My on location photographer is currently resting after last weeks WOMAD festival, so I hope to bring you some "Fruitstock" pictures from other sources......click here.

The scene is just a horrific mess....

My favourite news article of the week had me spitting my coffee out in laughter. That wouldn't have been a problem but l was on a packed train at the time, needless to say a roll of paper towels and an offer to pay the dry cleaning bill saw that the lady opposite was more than compensated.

Barney, the doberman pinscher went berserk while on duty at a teddy bear museum, tearing the toys limb from limb .......Among his victims was Mabel, a £40,000 Steiff bear that once belonged to Elvis Presley - and the jewel in the £500,000 collection.

The picture of the dog in the newspaper, with mutilated teddy bears and ripped stuffing, is really quite distressing. Never have an animals eyes said so much, teddy bears be afraid!


How's my blogging? To voice praise, disgust or downright confusion just comment me, link me, email me, bookmark me. The last one is a big sissy, so come on don't be shy!

Blog Prog!

Anyone heard any Spanish Progressive Rock? I think l must be a bit special!
My introduction to it was from a dodgy tape found in my spanish friends coche, it was a band called Triana. The car was borowed from work and also came with a Camaron cassette, bonus! We were touring the Sierra Nevada at the time, from Granada down to Cabo de Gata to meet some amigos. Quite an amusing journey as we couldn't speak each others language. We got by with arm movements, facial expressions and a little spanglish.
The Triana tape played constantly during the trip and l fell in love with the music. How this band remains relatively unknown in the UK is beyond reason. I guess being sung in Spanish doesn't help, although why are english sung songs so popular in non-english speaking countries? Triana's first album, El Patio, appeared in 1975 and was one of the first albums to mix flamenco rhythms and phrasing to contemporary rock songs and ballads. Many similar bands appeared, some being more 'Prog' than others. If you like 70's rock, Led Zeppelin etc, you must add some Triana to your collection. Find out more here, and enjoy the video clip (in the side bar)!