Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Recreational use of herbal folk remedies.

Happy New Year mi amigos!

I hope one is feeling refreshed after the festive holidays. Thank the Gods for antibiotics I survived 2006. I now feel somewhat daunted by the year 2007 and beyond...

Stuff i'm happy about.
I am pleased to report that my hair loss calculations were way off. My initial (folicle/ estimate was embarrasingly low so as a result I still have a full head of hair. Multipack of vests, emergency bobble hat and recently ordered mannequin head now on ebay.

Stuff i'm worried about.
I do have a greying problem though. Luckily the grey hairs are appearing randomly, it's not like in a concentrated patch or madre mia forbid a white stripe! I've made new calculations and I reckon I could be a silver-surfer by around mid-November. Unless I dropped a decimal point?

Stuff i'm sad about.
I Got You (I Feel Good). He didn't and he doesn't anymore! Christmas mornings will never be the same. Farewell to JB.

Stuff i'm concerned about.
I read on Kaz's blog that even the Folk world is dumbing down. Alcoholism, carnivorous obesity, pipe smoking, swinging, pagan worship, recreational use of herbal folk remedies. Yeah Folk had it all! I'm sure Rock'n'Roll is not all over. Can someone help me out, is there anyone even a little bit naughty these days?

Hasta Luego for now-o.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Bésame Mucho

Before the festivities get out of hand.....I'm Wishing everyone a Mucho-Merry Navidad and a very Happy New Year filled with mucho-emocionarse!?

Untill my return, Dame un beso!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Live in Las Vegas -Wedding Commentary

Amigos, here is the Live in Las Vegas UK commentary via Messenger. Confused? Please read previous post...

22:39:06 Señor Tronosco. hello amigos
22:39:45 Señorita N. hello?
22:39:49 Señor J! hey Señorita N!!
22:39:59 Señorita N. hey ho!!
22:40:37 Señor J! im still not seeing no wedding?!?!?!
22:40:52 Señor Tronosco. me neither...i reckon its happening now
22:41:05 Señorita N. maybe Mrs Bride got nervous happy feet? hahaha dancing like a penguin!! and forgot the wedding?
22:41:30 Señor Tronosco. they take their time to upload that stuff
22:41:35 Señorita N. or drinking some pints with Elvis?
22:42:04 Señor Tronosco. they blew the money on poker and are now off to Mexico
22:42:08 Señorita N. Loooool Mrs Bride is getting married!!
22:42:19 Señor J! lol
22:42:21 Señor J! im here tryin to suss out the dam thing
22:42:59 Señor Tronosco. anyone seeing it yet?
22:43:03 Señor J! nope!
22:43:06 Señorita N. i am...
22:43:14 Señor J! liar
22:43:16 Señorita N. "she decided to get married to Elvis, she is kicking Mr Groom out the chapel right now as we speak!!"
22:43:42 Señor Tronosco. is that some other website Señorita N?
22:43:46 Señorita N. hehe
22:43:52 Señor J! have u seen the website tryin to big itself up??? ""Our multimedia presentations use cutting-edge video streaming technology"""
22:44:01 Señor J! i dont think so!!
22:44:31 Señorita N. ok wait something is happening
22:44:40 Señorita N. ..nope
22:44:49 Señor Tronosco. were good to go
22:44:54 Señorita N. yeyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
22:45:06 Señor J! yayyy!
22:45:14 Señorita N. we are ON!!
22:45:16 Señor J! ooooo...bells!
22:45:16 Señor Tronosco. WOOO-HOOO
22:45:23 Señorita N. i am eating some chockie!!
22:45:52 Señor J! i can see doves n shit
22:46:03 Señorita N. yeyyy
22:46:11 Señorita N. awwwwwwwwwwwww#
22:46:13 Señor J! here comes the bride!!
22:46:22 Señor Tronosco. The first time I used a hankie in front of my pc for the eyes
22:46:28 Señor J! lol
22:46:35 Señor J! She looks nice
22:46:44 Señorita N. I love the dress
22:46:54 Señor J! She looked at the cam!!!
22:47:13 Señorita N. i am losing stuff
22:47:22 Señor Tronosco. im buffering?!
22:47:27 Señorita N. arghhhhhhhhhh
22:47:39 Señor J! Mines frozen from when the cam changed
22:47:56 Señorita N. i have sound but not camera its frozen
22:48:04 Señor J! Other parts of The Kingdom?!?!?!
22:48:15 Señor Tronosco. he is American?!?
22:48:19 Señorita N. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
22:48:24 Señorita N. Its gone white?
22:48:35 Señor J! Mines been frozen for ages!
22:48:40 Señorita N. FU&K!!!!!!!!!
22:48:41 Señor Tronosco. Cool.....its going ok so far
22:48:48 Señor J! im gonna dare to refresh!
22:49:02 Señorita N. i ll wait to see what happens to you
22:49:04 Señor Tronosco. Don't worry i'm ripping it for later
22:49:51 Señorita N. hahaha
22:50:05 Señorita N. i stipped it restarted it and Mr Groom's haircut had changed!!!!
22:50:07 Señorita N. hahahaha
22:51:14 Señorita N. can u hear some weird voicE?
22:51:21 Señor Tronosco. its frozen on the couple laughing..and the vicar bloke now sounds in slow motion.
22:51:22 Señor J! wow!! the sounds gone like a walkman with low batteries!
22:51:30 Señorita N. it sounds like a voice from an action movie, of a kidnapper?
22:51:40 Señor Tronosco. a kidnapper?
22:51:43 Señor J! its some telephone stalker
22:51:47 Señorita N. yeah
22:52:00 Señor J! u can hear the nerves in his voice!
22:52:10 Señorita N. yeah
22:52:10 Señor Tronosco. is Mr Groom a bit choked up or is it my sound
22:52:18 Señorita N. i think he is in tears
22:52:19 Señorita N. awww
22:52:30 Señor J! I wanna see!!!!!!!!!!
22:52:41 Señorita N. is she crying?
22:52:46 Señor J! dunno
22:53:02 Señorita N. hahah
22:53:03 Señor J! but its still so cool that atleast we can hear it live!
22:53:07 Señorita N. he forgot the rings?
22:53:10 Señorita N. ahahah
22:53:35 Señor Tronosco. they got the rings!
22:53:49 Señor Tronosco. yep its cool to be a part of this
22:54:54 Señorita N. so sweet
22:55:08 Señor Tronosco. Mrs Bride is loving it
22:55:14 Señor J! lol
22:55:33 Señor J! shes crackin up!
22:55:44 Señorita N. yeah i can hear her laughing
22:55:52 Señor J! is that the Double Jeopardy music in the background??!
22:56:18 Señor Tronosco. haha..i'm waiting for the dress thing, Senor J!
22:56:29 Señorita N. what dress thing?
22:56:36 Señor Tronosco. lol
22:57:03 Señor Tronosco. whats with the candles?
22:57:10 Señor J! NOOOOO!!! mine just crashed out!!
22:57:16 Señor J! it wont let me back in
22:57:21 Señorita N. stopped?
22:57:21 Señor Tronosco. i'm out
22:57:26 Señorita N. me too
22:58:12 Señor Tronosco. i think someone should save this conversation for Mrs Bride and Mr Groom to read when she returns
22:58:49 Señorita N. i think the vicar kidnapped Mrs Bride and Mr Groom is after her!!
22:59:25 Señor J! the convo's on autosave!
22:59:29 Señor J! i'll email it to her

Monday, December 11, 2006

Home, online, alone, guess what i'm feeling excited!

Mi Amigos!

The season to be jolly is here. Ouf! Madre Mia! I feel I may have overdone the Christmas celebrations already. Currently recovering from the office party and lots of other 'fiestas' that seemed a good idea at the time.

Anyway I'm hanging in there and tonight i'm at home, online and alone and guess what i'm feeling excited!

Yes amigos I can't wait, i've never done this online before but I'm so looking forward to it. I've been invited to an online wedding! Only 30minutes to go and I see my friend get herself hitched Live in Las Vegas via the wonders of t'internet. I'm so hoping Elvis is the vicar, Marilyn Monroe the usher and yeah, Jim Morrison can be the chauffer. Unless the happy couple have blown the wedding payment on a one way ticket to Mexico then I will report back with a commentary.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Pretty much like those witness protection schemes...

Que Pasa!
Something has been troubling me this past week, so as ever I will share it with mi amigos. A problemo shared is a problemo halved.

There are some things we all take for granted and its true to say that everyone has their own worries and problems. I myself worry about my total lack of organisation and my fear of dogs and wasps. My latest worry is that I seem to be shedding more hair than I can possibly grow. In my advancing years I still have not undergone any thinning or balding. But my basic mathematics tells me that the loss of one hair strand takes months to regrow. At this rate I calculate that I could be bald by mid January. Unfortunately the coldest time of the year going into February. I will keep you posted.

I have known one man in my time that has worn a Wig. Now don't get me wrong i'm not knocking anyone who is bald. There is of course medical reasons for baldness all of which must be horribly distressing.

Anyway i'm talking about the older man who is bald and chooses to cover this with a wig. My main point of confusion is, when do you decide to do 'the switch'? For example, i'm balding/bald one day, next day i've got a full-on mullet wig. I don't understand the etiquette. Surely the point of the wig is to pretend and to fool people into thinking its your own. So if I turn up to work or a social gathering then people will know i'm wearing a wig. Therefore the only way to maintain the illusion is to change your house, work, social group and notify your family. Pretty much like those witness protection schemes where they give you a new identity.

Now this is where I was thinking about other peoples worries. If you're a wig wearer and you've been through this inital identity change. Then what happens if you need to buy a new wig, do you stick with the same style? What if the wig manufacturer has gone bust? Do you choose one that closely matches? Please don't tell me you have to change jobs, house, work and friends again?

Monday, November 13, 2006

A random selection of thoughts...

Hola xoxos!
A selection of the past weeks random moments, feelings and thoughts...

Rush hour on the A406 sitting in a car within a lane closure with a yellow flashing light on the roof. Wearing a yellow reflective coat and a white hard hat. Facing an oncoming lane of stationary traffic whilst eating a banana. Being given a 'coffee bean hand shake' gesture from a stationary motorist and thinking...I probably deserve that.

In a club at approx. 2am, watching a girl walk across a row of tables in front of me. Casually lifting my glass from the table just before it collapses. Watching as the girl crumples in a painful mess on the floor. Being given a stern look from a bouncer, like it was my fault, and thinking...I bet that hurt.

At work. Being taken to one side by a work colleague and shown a nasty cut with stitches on his head. The injury was the result of a drunken night with friends in Poland and its cause was apparently a mystery. Giving my word that I would cover for him if the injury was noticed and questioned by higher management. Being given a handshake and thinking...the stitching was pretty shoddy work.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Is nothing sacred?

Buenas amigos!

I was lounging around earlier, tucking into tostada con tomate when suddenly it occured to me. This is becoming the decade of the movie remake! Is nothing sacred?

King Kong, The Ladykillers, Inspector Clouseau, The Italian Job, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Get Carter, to name a few. Why oh why?

I must admit I rather avoid these, dismissing them as shameless money making exploitations of the originals. Are they any good? Its the tip of the iceberg in my opinion, where will the 'remake industry' look next? Here are a few 'adaptations' that would see me buying tickets.

Apocalypse Now (redux) -On Ice.
A faithful adaptation of the epic journey into the heart of darkness on skates. You can almost smell the napalm scenes, albeit in a cool temperature controlled environment.

Silence of the Lambs -Contemporarily Danced.
A dance craze in the making thanks to Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Clarice Starling's mix of robotics and freestyle jive electrifies the night vision sequence.

A Few Good Men - The Silent Movie.
You can't handle the truth!, expressed with a cocktail of sign language, mime artistry and letter cards.