Excited by the thought of 'boil-in-the-bag' fish?
"Señor Tronosco, enough of the gruesome gut garbage and stomach related surgical shtick!"
You are right amigos, I gotta dust myself off, get up, stand up and get back to earning lap dancing club money for the shareholders! I've been wallowing in a mixture of daytime TV, baggy night/lounge wear, Muller Rice and prescription narcs. Quite frankly I have become my Grandparents. I found myself today getting excited by the thought of boil in the bag fish in parsley sauce with tinned new potatoes. I'm empathising with City Hospital inmates (BBC1 10:00am -11:00am). I have started taking supper, having pudding, referring to my doctor by his first name and collecting coupons! All of which is a sure sign that i'm on a slippery slope to becoming all grown up, sensible and slipper bound. Madre Mia, i've even given up smoking!
In order to enable rehabilitation into my preoperative life i have developed a three-point-training-plan.
Step One -Breaking the Hospital Routine.
Tomorrow I will arise at my usual work day waking time (6.30 am) via two presses of the snooze button. I will leave this as late as possible, so that I have to rush, in a near heart attack inducing frenzy. I will have to shower in record breaking time in order to enable me to eat breakfast (Doctor's orders). My usual cigarette time, now banned, will buy the minutes for eating breakfast. I will also place my house keys in a obvious place. This could bank an extra 10 minutes as I normally take at least this amount of time to find them in the morning. I will then dress in my usual work atire. This will replace the comfortable lounge slacks and slippers with pressed suit trousers and leather shoe. I will then exit the house and power walk to the railway station, timing it so that I just manage to arrive at 7:23am. By which time i'm sweating like a marathon runner and having to prise the train doors open to get on before it leaves. Obviously this is training so I will not be undertaking my full journey. I will get off at the next station and return home, this will suitably screw up my postoperative routine.
Step Two -Avoiding mental and physical inactivity.
Upon returning home TV is banned, except for educational programmes/documentaries. I will set myself a few mental tasks in the morning. This could include pondering such questions as, how do they get the writing in a stick of rock? In the afternoon I will attempt to start sorting out the garage which will provide a motivational, physical and mental challenge.
Step Three -Putting yourself about a bit.
Being sat on the sofa with a tartan blanket for nearly a month really makes one antisocial. I will therefore at suitable moments during the day randomly call a few people. I will try and sustain a conversation for as long as possible. Aiming for at least 5minutes of quality two way chat, 10minutes of one sided rambling from myself, 15minutes, surely they hung up 10minutes ago!
When out of the house I will try and communicate with a stranger (preferably a Señorita) and try not to appear like I own slippers, a tartan blanket or get excited by boiled fish!
Fingers crossed by following my three-point-post-op-training plan I should be back to normal in no time!
You are right amigos, I gotta dust myself off, get up, stand up and get back to earning lap dancing club money for the shareholders! I've been wallowing in a mixture of daytime TV, baggy night/lounge wear, Muller Rice and prescription narcs. Quite frankly I have become my Grandparents. I found myself today getting excited by the thought of boil in the bag fish in parsley sauce with tinned new potatoes. I'm empathising with City Hospital inmates (BBC1 10:00am -11:00am). I have started taking supper, having pudding, referring to my doctor by his first name and collecting coupons! All of which is a sure sign that i'm on a slippery slope to becoming all grown up, sensible and slipper bound. Madre Mia, i've even given up smoking!
In order to enable rehabilitation into my preoperative life i have developed a three-point-training-plan.
Step One -Breaking the Hospital Routine.
Tomorrow I will arise at my usual work day waking time (6.30 am) via two presses of the snooze button. I will leave this as late as possible, so that I have to rush, in a near heart attack inducing frenzy. I will have to shower in record breaking time in order to enable me to eat breakfast (Doctor's orders). My usual cigarette time, now banned, will buy the minutes for eating breakfast. I will also place my house keys in a obvious place. This could bank an extra 10 minutes as I normally take at least this amount of time to find them in the morning. I will then dress in my usual work atire. This will replace the comfortable lounge slacks and slippers with pressed suit trousers and leather shoe. I will then exit the house and power walk to the railway station, timing it so that I just manage to arrive at 7:23am. By which time i'm sweating like a marathon runner and having to prise the train doors open to get on before it leaves. Obviously this is training so I will not be undertaking my full journey. I will get off at the next station and return home, this will suitably screw up my postoperative routine.
Step Two -Avoiding mental and physical inactivity.
Upon returning home TV is banned, except for educational programmes/documentaries. I will set myself a few mental tasks in the morning. This could include pondering such questions as, how do they get the writing in a stick of rock? In the afternoon I will attempt to start sorting out the garage which will provide a motivational, physical and mental challenge.
Step Three -Putting yourself about a bit.
Being sat on the sofa with a tartan blanket for nearly a month really makes one antisocial. I will therefore at suitable moments during the day randomly call a few people. I will try and sustain a conversation for as long as possible. Aiming for at least 5minutes of quality two way chat, 10minutes of one sided rambling from myself, 15minutes, surely they hung up 10minutes ago!
When out of the house I will try and communicate with a stranger (preferably a Señorita) and try not to appear like I own slippers, a tartan blanket or get excited by boiled fish!
Fingers crossed by following my three-point-post-op-training plan I should be back to normal in no time!
posted by Señor Tronosco at 11:01 pm
6 Comments:
No I am not excited by the thought of boil in the bag fish..
How is the routine going ..have you managed to prise yourself away from "Trisha" or is that not on any more..
Boil in the fish bag - no, don't do it, that's too sad.
If only you knew how many other bloggers have written similar lonesome posts to you - I suggest you do a blogger trawl tonight and find them.
I'm meeting up with a group of bloggers tonight I've never met before for a drink and natter, I'm really looking forward to it. Good luck.
H! I'm back to work now, I feel a changed hombre! I am continuing to 'tape' Bodger and Badger though...ITV 3:30pm.
Elle
I have met up with a group of non-bloggers tonight for a drink and a natter...i was really looking forward to it...although the drinking had left mild stomach pains.
As an expert, any suggestions where I should trawl for fish?
are you ok? you're not ill again are you?
I'm good thanks but I now have the joys of outpatient appointments.
I'm currently very busy collecting nuts for the winter...will update soon.
glad you're ok, enjoy the nuts.
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